Write yourself a love letter (not just on Valentine's Day)
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A relationship with ourselves is and always will be the most important in our lives. Why then do we often neglect this relationship? We are all so good at expressing our love to others, but not always so good at expressing our love and gratitude to ourselves. For what? Lack of time, chores, do we feel responsible for others, for the house, or are we simply not used to doing that? Or maybe we are not completely satisfied with ourselves? Do we feel this love for ourselves as for our loved ones? Maybe we're going through a tough time and we don't have the energy to even think about it?
Whatever the reason, always very personal, the time to change it has come!
Taking this opportunity, whether today is Valentine's Day, I would like to encourage you to write a love letter to yourself!
You will ask me: but why do it?
I would say: to celebrate the most important relationship of your life! Additionally, expressing self-love and gratitude can be a therapeutic experience.
Take one (or more) sheets of paper and a pen. If you are stationery lovers like me, you may feel more encouraged to do so with some beautiful letter stationery, your favorite pen with your favorite ink. Create a pleasant space where you will feel comfortable and safe.
Ok so you're ready, but you don't know what to write? I'm here with you!
Remember, the idea of writing a love letter to yourself is to notice and celebrate everything positive about you, your strengths, your successes! We are all so good at seeing imperfections, but not always so good at appreciating our successes despite those imperfections! The objective of this exercise is therefore to get used to seeing the positive despite the negative! So if while writing this letter you have doubts, you have the impression that after each positive element you want to write... "BUT", know that this is simply normal. Gently redirect your thoughts towards the positive!
One last tip before we begin: Consider yourself your best friend. We are generally better at seeing the good things in others than in ourselves so this can make it easier to come up with ideas. Try to gain some perspective.
Ok, so what to write?
Start with: “my dear…”, and put your preferred first name or nickname. Make it cute and warm.
Write down the goal, for example: “I would like to tell you how much I love and appreciate you.”
You can then divide your letter into three parts where:
- you tell yourself what you are proud of,
- you thank yourself,
- you show compassion,
- you say what you want for yourself.
1. I am so proud of you for…
Write here everything you are proud of. Try to focus on things that only concern you.
This could be, for example:
- say no to things that no longer serve you,
- move away from situations or people that are not good for you,
- be kind to yourself, especially in difficult times,
- achieve X or Y in your personal/professional life.
Celebrate your successes!
2. Thank you for...
Then say thank you and write down everything you would like to thank yourself for, such as:
- find time for yourself, also to write this letter,
- pursue your passions,
- take care of your mind and body,
- do other nice things for yourself,
- work on yourself,
- protect your needs, your dreams, your opinions...
You can really put anything you are grateful for here!
3. One show of compassion...
Another idea might be to show yourself compassion.
The idea here is not to put yourself down, rather it is to show your inner child compassion and understanding when faced with different experiences, for example:
- I'm sorry I forgot to take care of you more, I'll try to change that from now on,
- I'm sorry you went through this difficult situation, I see you and I'm here for you,
- I'm sorry your needs weren't met, but I'm here with you now and I will make sure you are my priority,
-I'm sorry you're sick/tired/struggling, I want you to know that I'm here with you and I'm very proud of how you're handling this situation.
4. I wish you...
Last point that I would include is: I wish you...
What would you wish for yourself if you were your self-knowing best friend? Say it in this part!
To finish you can say: I see you and I thank you for everything, you are very important to me, I love you!
If you want, you can even send this letter to yourself!
And don't forget, you can write such a letter to yourself more often than just for Valentine's Day! It really helps us appreciate how amazing we are! :)
Did this article inspire you?
Let me know in the comments please! :) also feel free to share your other ideas on what to put in a love letter to yourself!
